About this blog: Clay Jones' Toon Talk blog. Cartoons, roughs, ideas, politics, music, rants and readers get to leave comments questioning Clay's intelligence. About Clay Jones: Clay Jones draws editorial cartoons and creates caption contests for fredericksburg.com. In his spare time, he plays in the local rock band Corporate T-Shirt. Follow Clay on Twitter at twitter.com/claytoonz and on Facebook at facebook.com/clayjones
After the big holiday last weekend (I forget which one it was), I returned to slow news. It’s always like that after a holiday. Sometimes the best thing to do is to just find something that’s not dominating the headlines. I figured I’d take an issue with Obama’s vacation.
Sure, the guy needs a vacation. But is Chicago not good enough for him? Most people go home for Christmas vacation, Obama goes to the beach. He can argue it’s his home, but it’s not the home he’s built his political career upon. At a time when most Americans aren’t just feeling the economic pinch, or submission hold, but feeling uncertainty about their health, career, retirement, future, their children’s future, etc….does the president really need to be strolling around in 80 degree weather with his greatest decision being what flavor of shaved ice to consume? If nothing else, the prez needs a few photo ops where he’s seen suffering the painful, bittery, windy cold that kicks your butt just walking from your front door to your car….like the rest of us.
I know Hawaii isn’t really paradise. I know this because I lived there. Most people who lived there are NOT on vacation (wanna see a Hawaiian on vacation? Go to Vegas). They’re struggling to make ends meet. Most residents won’t even buy cereal because it’s $10 a box (they solve this crisis by never eating cereal). A lot of households consists of adults living with their parents, who are living with their parents, who are living with their parents, in property owned by a very suspicious Japanese landlord.
I also know that Hawaiian cuisine isn’t really poi at a lua. It’s ramen noodles (saimen), pork, sticky rice, more pork, more sticky rice, more pork, more sticky rice…and finally, spam on top of a crusty bed of rice that’s been sitting under a heat lamp for seven hours at 7-11. Also, Mahi-mahi seems to be served with everything. It’s like pork of the sea, because there’s a thousand ways to serve it…and they all suck. The fish is so nasty they named it twice…just in case one enunciation of “mahi” wasn’t heard and you didn’t get the warning…so they go “mahi-mahi” and maybe by the fourth syllable you’re “yeah, I’ll have tha….wait…did you say ‘mahi’?”. I also learned that any place that serves mahi as their lunch special makes a horrible burger…so that’s out of the equation for a safe lunch. But Thai, Vietnamese, Japanse, Chinese….are all awesome in Hawaii. Just stay away from the duck because they might not kill it until after you order it. I don’t know about you, but a chopping sound in the middle of a quack kinda kills my appetite for duck. I haven’t had duck since 1997.
Breakfast in Hawaii is awesome. Nothing fancy. I’m just talking about your ordinary breakfast of eggs with bacon….and sticky rice and spam. Somehow that grows on you.
Sorry I got off track and delivered a lecture on Hawaii, but this Haole is missing paradise in this Virginia December weather. Mahalo for bearing with me.
Here’s the rough.