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We’ll survive campaigns

YOU LEARN a lot during political campaigns, especially when it comes to choosing a president.

Of course, we all knew that Barack Obama and Mitt Romney were crazy from the beginning. After all, no sane man would want the job.

Now we’re finding out even more and the news isn’t good. According to political ads, both men are not only crazy, but they are bad guys who will do terrible things to this country and to its people.

Boy, is that reassuring! Here I thought we were about to elect someone who will lead us out of the wilderness. Then I watch TV ads that declare that no matter who is elected next month, America is headed deeper into the bowels of a deep, dark jungle.

Romney supporters declare that President Obama is some kind of a modern-day Robin Hood whose objective is to take from the rich and give to the poor.

Romney, of course, is the patron saint of wealth, according to Obama supporters. To hear them tell it, Old Mitt has these big money bins over in Switzerland and down in the Cayman Islands.

In fact, I’ve been told that more than half the residents in the Caymans make their living just counting Romney’s money.

We all know that rich people are bad. That’s a Bible-backed fact. And we know that Robin Hood was an outlaw. Yet we have to choose between the two. This is getting pretty scary!

When it comes to the economy, Romney says he has a plan. Ah, but Obama say it is a bad plan, a plan that will doom America.

Romney responds by saying that America is already doomed, that our children and grandchildren and every generation until the end of time will be paying 100 percent of their wages (if they can find jobs) in taxes because Obama is now just printing money recklessly and throwing it away.

Obama supporters counter by saying that Romney is a tax dodger, and if he would just pay taxes on the money he has stored away in his Scrooge McDuck bins in the Cayman Islands, our grandchildren would be debt-free forever.

Obama says he is offering hope. Romney says that hope is not a plan and  if hope is all the president has to offer, then America’s economic situation is hopeless.

To hear Obama, Romney doesn’t give a hoot about the middle class. To hear Romney, Obama doesn’t like rich people, even though he is one.

Do these guys like anybody?

Romney supporters claim that Obama is soft on foreign affairs and that, if he is re-elected, we will be a loser in world politics. Obama supporters say that Romney lacks diplomacy and that, if elected, he will start World War III.

Obama supporters say that Romney is trying to buy the election, and Romney supporters say that anyone who has been involved in Illinois politics should be used to that.

This mudslinging is not limited to the presidential race. Virginia senatorial candidates George Allen and Tim Kaine are also making each other out to be horrible.

Both claim that while the other was governor of Virginia he flushed the state down the toilet. And neither candidate, if you believe the campaign ads, has any respect for women or their rights.

Funny, but I remember both men being governor and I don’t recall any of that terrible stuff.

If you pay attention to the Kaine and Allen campaign ads, you have to believe that neither man is fit to serve in the U.S. Senate.

And if you take the presidential campaign ads as gospel, you’ve got to be thinking that this year we have the worst two candidates in the history of our country.

No matter who we vote for, it seems both our country and our state are doomed.

The Mayans may have been right. The end of the world may be near. It certainly is if you believe what you hear in political campaigns ads.

Somehow, however, I think we will survive. We always do.

No matter how horrible the candidates portray each other before the election, it seems that, after the fact, these people turn out to be pretty nice guys.

But right now they’re all a bunch of dirty rotten scoundrels.

That’s the way politics works.

Donnie Johnston: