Fredericksburg Features

Columns and stories of life from the Fredericksburg area.

RSS feed of this blog

WRY TOAST: Post-election haiku for you

THERE’S NOTHING like having a presidential election season in the rearview mirror. If I had to hear one more debate about binders full of women, Obamacare or Big Bird’s job security, I would’ve slit my wrists with a budget ax.

Though not much changed in Washington, Nov. 6 recorded wins for gay marriage, gambling and legalized marijuana. The election also produced the most tweeted and liked-on-Facebook photo of all time—an image of the Obamas embracing in Iowa.

Whether you lean right or left, you’ve got to be happy that that picture proved more popular than the nether-regional self-portrait tweeted by Anthony Weiner last year.

Scout Tufankjian/Obama for America

Maybe it means we’re maturing as a nation.

Probably not.

Half the nation’s gloating. The other half is pouting. What we all need is some post-election haiku.

—Edie Gross

Debt, wars, jobless rate.

Kind of makes you want to jump

off a fiscal cliff.

All those campaign ads

leave voters with a certain

not-so-fresh feeling.

Red House, blue Senate.

Send them to Colorado.

Bicam’ral munchies.

Obama’s grand prize?

Bipartisan gridlock. But

Big Bird breathes easy.

Texas is ticked off.

Threatens secession. So go!

But leave ’que behind.

Swingers all. V-A.

Ohio. Wis. Iowa.

It’s a lifestyle choice.

Florida voters.

Hurricane Sandy-sized storms.

Things we must accept.

Two men getting hitched.

Smoking weed in the open.

Joint resolutions.

Scout Tufankjian snapped

famed pic of Obamas’ hug.

How’d you pronounce ‘Scout’?

No more campaign ads,

robo calls or junk mail. I

approve this message.

Edie Gross: 540/374-5428